Category Archives: Random Humorous/Ridiculous Thoughts

As Shakespeare wished, I also hope not to offend…but it might happen. I prefer we laugh together.

Fifty Ways to Leave Your Lover Gray

Hello Ladies,

This blog is for you!  Time out from the troubles of the world – and time to dig into a steamy, erotic novel. My wife & I checked out the trailer for the new movie coming out soon when we ran across an article saying that women would rather read about sex than partake in it.  In that spirit, I’ve decided to cash in on the phenomenon and offer you a little tickler here on my blog…

Rated R – for Ridiculous…
Here’s Installment 1 of the Erotic Trilogy – Fifty Ways to Leave Your Lover Gray

She was looking forward to the darkness of night to envelope her, wrap her in its arms, and give her thrills that so many woman yearn to experience.  With the three little ones tucked safely into bed after a day of bondage – hanging onto her from one room to another, wanting her, wanting all of her, she quietly slipped into her Red room, with posters of the Cincinnati baseball team sporting the striped walls. Her man glided in just after her from his normal position on the couch after watching the Bengals win another nail biter.

He was tired, that was clear, but hungry for her – almost as much as the kids. She slipped into something more comfortable as he unloaded in the next room with a few primal grunts & groans.  As soon as she found a comfortable position, her lover stomped into the bedroom and rolled onto her side of the bed – desire in his eyes and hands flopping everywhere.

Thirty long seconds later, they lay exhausted; he snored his way into dreams of the Superbowl while she picked up her favorite book, while pensively considering what lay ahead.

By Worst Selling Author – Dan Erdman

Popular Sayings…

So, I’ve been thinking…not too deeply, about some popular sayings, and I’ve decided to change a few for myself. If you like, you can use my updated versions….at no charge (teehee)

I’m living life 1 day at a time.
I’m living life 2 days at a time. 1 day at a time is too boring.

It is what it is.
It is what it was. Anything I experience is created from yesterday’s beliefs.

An apple a day keeps the doctor away.
An apple a day is great if you like apples.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
Beauty is in the mind of the beholder.

S**t happens.
Biological fact – I create my own s**t, defined by what I consume as acceptable.

I’ve only got one life to live, so I’m living to the full.
I don’t care how many lives, I have…I want to live each one as fully as possible.

…more to come…You’re invited to share your own sayings by adding a comment. (Spammers will be filtered out!)

Thoughts of a Groundhog – A Poem by Dan

I was I.

Commanding Awe
Of creatures standing spindly tall,
I was I.

I was I.
A remnant God
Of mythos passed,
Of gobs of Gods of earth and sky
Whose lessons filled the weaklings
For the Day to Day;
And told of futures long since past,
Giving hope which springs eternal.

I was I.
A God alike another God
Rising from an earthbound sleep
Seeming death, to life we come.
And every year the poor ones wait
As spring hopes eternal,
I was I.

I was I.
A fading God,
To Gods of metal and nimble hands,
Whose pale green, tuneless voice does call
The little ones who beg and crawl,
To the LifeLess Gods, Living Da-ta Data,
As hope springs in-terminal.

================ (C) copyright Dan Erdman – 1984 ==============================

I wrote the poem above on a very early MAC computer, about 1984, as I envisioned life in the future with computers. For those who may be too young to know, the earliest computers had green lettering on a black background, and the screens were called “terminals”.

Mind Reading…A Crushing Blow to the Economy & Relationships

Hi All,

I got to thinking this week…that if suddenly, we all had the ability to read each other’s minds, it would totally destroy certain industries, and cripple others. In addition, it would dramatically change our business and personal relationships.

I think we should ban any attempts at such a development.

What disasters do you think might happen?  Please post below.

Enjoying Life,
Dan (teehee)

In the Spirit of the Holidays – Selfish vs Altruistic

Well, it seems simple enough…just set up a WordPress page and off you go…hahahahahahaha!

I consider myself pretty techy, but it took a lot to get this far with blogging, and I expect I will continue to learn more as I go…about all the bells and whistles…enough said about that, for you aspiring bloggers.

So, here’s my first random (and silly) thought… I think Unselfishness is overrated. Don’t get me wrong, it’s really great to be unselfishly helpful, but isn’t that really selfish to think so?  I mean, if you really consider selfishness and unselfishness at the core, the lines start blurring.  Here’s an example:

Let’s say, I save someone from getting hit by a bus, risking my life to do so. That’s considered pretty unselfish by most standards (except if no one ever got hurt, it would negatively impact folks whose jobs depend on people getting hurt or killed – hospital employees, morgue employees, Rescue folks, etc..).

Anyway, if I had to watch a person get hit by a bus…knowing that I could have saved the person…I would feel terrible that I didn’t help AND I would feel great if I was able to save them (even if I wasn’t in a hero parade and the focus of a human interest story on TV News).

Now, the “selfish” person who isn’t willing to risk his/her life is not gonna feel bad that they didn’t risk their lives, even though they may feel some compassion for the person that got clobbered by the bus.

Both are motivated by self interest in the heart – we all want to feel good…even the people who want to feel guilty or sad or some other bad feeling on the surface so they can feel good on a deeper – and more important level. By the way, I think that is wonderful!  One might think my comments are from a jaded heart, but not so. I think each person and their motivations for doing or not-doing something are fascinating!

So, in the spirit of the holiday season, do something good for someone else, or not ! Either way, I hope you feel good !

By the way…I really feel sorry for bus drivers and bus companies because people are always making up examples or movies, etc., in which someone is tragically hit by a bus.  I’d like to start a movement to save buses and related people from that shame…and encourage people to use some other vehicle, like an ambulance or a hearse for their tragic person gets clobbered examples…and those would be more efficient too…all the equipment is right there.

Dan
PS – Anyone who takes this post seriously can unselfishly post a comment supporting the Altruism Spectrum Society